


through the seasons, with you

by xinmood



Category: HOTSHOT (Band), Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, for my dearest 150fps, hatae - Freeform, i just wanted to write something about them ok, idk what this is honestly, not much angst but i Guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-01
Updated: 2017-09-01
Packaged: 2018-12-21 20:02:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,970
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11951604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xinmood/pseuds/xinmood
Summary: He didn’t know if he wanted the gates of hell to swallow him whole right then and there, or if he wanted that to happen to the tiny man in front of him.He decided he did not like this man at all. No matter how much the look in his eyes made his heart beat, unknowingly, just a tad bit quicker.





	through the seasons, with you

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't really know where I was going with this, it's more of a 'it-was-3am-i-had-to-write-something-or-i-wouldnt-be-able-to-sleep' fic... so i apologise in advance for the allovertheplace-ness. but nevertheless I hope someone finds this somewhat enjoyable :-) ♡

It was summer when they first met.

 

It was rather cliché, really. Rapid footsteps pounding against the rough concrete, Ha Sungwoon brisk walked as quickly as his short legs could carry him to his first lecture of the day. As he did every other morning, he woke up thinking to himself, _Today will be a great day. This will be a good week. Your college fees will be worth it..._ Perhaps, he’d thought, repeating it as a daily mantra would convince him so. Or at least he tried to.

 

In his haste he didn’t notice an equally tiny man walking backwards towards him. Sungwoon was preoccupied with thoughts of his next assignment when a heavy pressure slammed into his side, resulting in an embarrassingly loud yelp escaping his lips. Sprawled on the floor, quickly collecting his files among a mess of incoherent _i’m sorrys_ and inward swearing, Sungwoon snapped his gaze to the boy who bumped into him.

 

It was a while before the other man moved, offering his hand to help Sungwoon up. As they met eyes, Sungwoon’s cold exterior dissolved just a little. He wished he knew the reason why, honestly. He’d like to think it was his daily mantra working his way in his mind again that was the cause for his irritatingly bright outlook on life.

 

“I’m so sorry, are you okay?”

 

Sungwoon blinked before standing up _by himself,_ dusting his pants off warily. “I’m fine,” he spoke, about to advise the man to be more careful - only to stop himself after recognising him as a senior. He bit his tongue and forced out a polite “It’s no big deal,” more annoyed at his seniority than the person himself, really. _Happy thoughts, Sungwoon. Only happy, positive, forgiving, tolerating, sweet, beautiful thoughts today._

 

He was ready to walk away, as most people do after embarrassing themselves publicly, but the other boy started to talk again. Sungwoon didn’t know what to think.

 

“Hey, I know you! You’re that junior performance major, aren’t you? The one whose voice cracked on stage!” he dared to _chuckle_ loudly. Heads turned at the sound of one-sided obnoxious laughter, some poorly disguising their giggles as a cough.

 

Sungwoon’s eye twitched, his polite default smile still painfully stretched on his face.

He didn’t know if he wanted the gates of hell to swallow him whole right then and there, or if he wanted that to happen to the tiny man in front of him.

 

He decided he did not like this man at all. No matter how much the look in his eyes made his heart beat, unknowingly, just a tad bit quicker.

 

\--

 

The next time was in autumn.

 

Sungwoon faced a grand piano, fingers hovering over the keys in contemplation. As his fingers pressed on the notes, he sang out his first verse, his honey-like voice projecting loudly in the empty music room. He paused midway, unsatisfied with his melodies, and scribbled on his messy little compositions. He was in what he called - _the Zone -_ so it was no surprise that he nearly fell over when a voice sounded loud from behind his shoulder.

 

Sungwoon clutched at his chest, whipping around quickly. _Of course,_ he thought wryly, the blood pounding in his ears, _it had to be_ him.

 

Standing in all his 168 centimeters glory was the same boy who humiliated Sungwoon all those months ago. Sungwoon, in all honesty, didn’t know if he should laugh or weep at his predicament.

 

Sungwoon had been seeing him far too often for his liking. The collaboration with the senior dance majors had them interacting - or rather, looking at each other sneakily from across the hall - frequently, what with the upcoming open house performance focusing more on inter-class connection and teamwork. Basically, it was a huge burden across all majors.

 

Especially so for Sungwoon, having to see _Noh Taehyun_ and having to hear his constant laughter… he had flashbacks to that humiliating moment every time he heard it. He was a sophomore who hadn’t known any better, truly. As quickly as he thought of that taboo moment, he pushed it far, far back into the deep recesses of his mind. And then he calmly addressed the grinning boy in front of him.

 

“You scared me,” he huffed, daring to sound annoyed. “One day I’m going to die because of you.”

 

“All I did was compliment you,” he grinned, taking his seat beside him - sans permission, of course - and dramatically raised his hands over the piano. He tilted his head high in the air, eyes closing in a flair of emotion. Sungwoon nearly snorted but he bit his lip, watching the enigma beside him at work.

 

He pressed down on the keys carelessly, creating a much too jarring sound, and Sungwoon couldn’t stop himself from rolling his eyes. He went to adjust Taehyun’s wrist by habit, breaking the latter’s attention away from playing his eccentric persona. Sungwoon didn't notice Taehyun who looked at him somewhat dazed at the gesture. His eyes lingered at the contact, insides twisting just a tiny bit.

 

“You need to have the proper wrist position, like this,” Sungwoon let go of his wrists and demonstrated it, complete with the perfect posture. Taehyun felt only slightly annoyed at his perfectionist nature, but really, he was too busy thinking about how his touch was so… _gentle._ A word that Taehyun could not relate to, not really.

 

What’s more, he didn’t know why this particular fact baffled him so damn much.

 

\--

 

All Sungwoon wanted to do was cocoon himself in the comfort of his blankets. His ideal day, he’d imagined, was to stay at home with a warm mug of hot chocolate in his hands, television playing quietly in the background. He’d visualised a calm, relaxing time during winter break. But since when did fate ever allowed him this one brief respite?

 

This time he found himself sitting across Taehyun - _again._ In his hands, a mug of hot chocolate sat, mocking yet warm nonetheless. _I have my drink, at least,_ he mused to himself, taking a sip while watching the other boy talk animatedly about his school experiences. It was entertaining, really, and Sungwoon had to admit he enjoyed the other boy’s company. (Somewhat. The boy made Sungwoon feel unsettled for some reason, and he didn’t particularly enjoy the feeling.)

 

“So what about you?” Taehyun asked, and Sungwoon blinked.

 

“What about me?”

 

“Your story. Why’d you pursue music?”

 

Sungwoon’s lips parted to reply after a brief pause. “I figured I can’t live without it. It’s been with me since I was a kid, I guess.”

 

Eyes slightly glazed, as if he was reliving precious memories all over again, Sungwoon had to pause to find the right words to say.

 

“It’s fascinating, you know, it’s a universal language - a way to communicate, a form of self-expression-”

 

“-Cute.”

 

Sungwoon paused mid-sentence, gaze clashing with Taehyun’s. _Did I hear right or-_

 

“You’re so cute, Sungwoon,” Taehyun grinned brightly, doing the _nose_ thing. _The one where his nose scrunches up a little and his eyes get absolutely twinkly and his expression just radiates sincerity and adoration._ Sungwoon was pretty sure he was turning purple - blue for not breathing, and red from being a blushing mess.

 

_Well fuck._

  


\--

 

“You’re drunk, Sungwoon,” Taehyun just looks on in awe and slight trepidation at the giggling mess of a man in front of him.

 

The duo were sitting on the front porch of Kim Moonkyu's (a talented fellow dancer in Taehyun’s year) house. The latter held an impromptu little New Year’s celebration, inviting the small circle of musicians & dancers that the group got close to from the project they had toiled endlessly over. The students were spread around the house, some already drunk even before midnight. The duo had found themselves a quieter corner, one buzzed and the other sober. Taehyun had witnessed a rather historic event that night. Ha Sungwoon, in a drinking match, was truly a Ha Sungwoon to be feared.

 

Right then, though, giggling and snorting right in front of him, he wasn’t really all that intimidating.

 

Taehyun took a swig of his water - he didn’t like to drink much - almost choking when he felt a light pressure on his shoulder. He cast his gaze downwards to see Sungwoon’s head nestled in his neck.

 

 _Well aren’t you comfortable,_ Taehyun deadpanned, Sungwoon’s hair tickling his collarbones. He felt heat rise to his cheeks but he did nothing, looking away as the other boy began rambling.

 

“You... have a c-comfortable.. shou...lder,” he slurred, eyes fluttering shut.

 

“It wasn’t made for your big ass head, but whatever,” Taehyun snorted, but a smile graced his lips, betraying his true thoughts. He felt Sungwoon lift his head and he expected a rebuttal, but his comment went unheard, the boy sinking back onto the floor to gaze at the night sky.

 

Taehyun blinked at him before joining the sleepy, yet talkative drunk. They gazed into nothingness for a while, and a comfortable silence stretched between them.

 

“Did I tell you… you have a really cute smile,” Sungwoon mumbled. “And your eyes do this - _shining shining_ thing - and it’s so pretty, I get so jealous sometimes but, I love looking at them, and your dancing skills are unbeatable, you talented..little… b…”

 

Taehyun turned his head to look at the tiny drunk _egghead_ beside him, reeling slightly from his weird confession, a smile of disbelief etched on his face. He bit his lip as he watched Sungwoon continue listing things that pissed him off about Taehyun. He didn’t know if he should have felt honoured or insulted, really. But the reddening of his cheeks and the twisting feeling in his gut had him holding his breath, feeling slightly giddy and nervous. He chuckled at something Sungwoon said, and his hand reached out to unconsciously run a hand through Sungwoon’s hair.

 

The latter paused and looked up at the hand perched on his head, cheeks flushed.

 

“I appreciate the skinship, but you really remind me of my mom right now,” he murmured and then snorted and continued to have a mini breakdown at his own reference.

 

_I don’t know why I even bother with his stupid ass._

 

\--

 

Spring had come.

 

If you’d asked Sungwoon if he would ever consider Taehyun a friend a year ago, he would’ve laughed. Yet here he was with him, practically inseparable. The two were glued at the hip - they had found themselves in each other; Taehyun would dare say. Fate was funny like that, and fate was also kind of a bitch.

 

“All these flowers and yet, the most beautiful one here is you,” Taehyun recited, playfully tucking one behind Sungwoon’s ear. The latter got caught off guard, nearly falling over at the abrupt cheesiness of it all, but composed himself quickly and rolled his eyes.

 

“Tell me something I don’t know, Taehyun,” he smirked, a hand on his chest in mock arrogance. That pretense lasted as short as it’d started. Taehyun blinked slowly, before deciding to speak.

 

“I like you.”

 

Sungwoon would have rather liked to believe he choked on a flower petal. The other boy’s lips quirked up in a mischievous smile, leaning in to give the lightest peck on the former’s cheek, and Sungwoon swore his heart stopped beating.

 

Taehyun was going to be the death of him.

 

\--

 

Noh Taehyun could read Ha Sungwoon easily. It was practically, theoretically, impossible to hide from him - Sungwoon had a quiet suspicion that he could read minds, honestly.

 

That day in summer, Sungwoon sighed inaudibly, his face expressionless. He was trying to relax, get out of this slump he was in, but heavens knew no matter how much he tried to get inspiration, he kept coming up empty and was left feeling even more frustrated than ever.

 

“Sungwoon, look at me.”

 

The boy in question looked up, and Taehyun squished his face in his hands. He pursed his lips in annoyance but shut up the moment he saw the seriousness in Taehyun’s eyes.

 

“You need rest. I don’t know how you expect yourself to come up with ideas right now when you haven’t had sleep in nearly a day.”

 

“B-”

 

“No buts. You’re coming with me,” Taehyun ordered, grabbing his bags and dragging him off the ground. “I was a senior like this last year, just like you. Plus I know you better than anyone - you can’t fool me with your fake ass excuses.”

 

“Taehyun, I-”

 

“Enough. I love you, and I only want to see you healthy and happy,” Taehyun turned around, a little riled up, but raw and honest all the same.

 

 _He dropped that L-bomb so casually. I think I might’ve died,_ Sungwoon blinked, lips parted in slight awe. His chest tightened and his lips curled into a shy smile, eyes downcast.

 

It was that moment, when Taehyun interlaced his fingers with his, a reassuring smile on his face - that Sungwoon decided that he might’ve been totally, recklessly in love with Noh Taehyun. That no matter the obstacle or any distance, he would probably continue to love the man just as selfishly.

 

\--

 

It was fall when Taehyun received the best and yet the worst news of his life.

 

“They want me to tour with them,” Taehyun said to himself breathlessly, eyes shining with excitement. His eyes skimmed over the e-mail and then he forced himself to slow down and read it again. He had to calm down - nothing was settled, it was merely an offer. Yet he couldn’t help himself from laughing in disbelief. He’d been waiting for this his _whole_ life.

 

Immediately after the rush of happiness, came the heavy emotion Taehyun couldn’t bring himself to acknowledge. At the words “ _duration of a year and a half”_ , his entire posture went rigid and his smile lost its trademark shine.

 

 _Sungwoon,_ he thought, his heart heavy. _Oh,_ shit _, Ha Sungwoon._

 

The night he broke the news to his boyfriend was a night filled with conflicting emotions and a facade of acceptance. Happiness, _ecstasy_ , bitterness, _fear_. Both of them could deny the impending dread - for they were both people who’d rather deal with it once the time came - but they knew what this would entail.

 

For now, they decided, they would live in the moment, as they always did. Disregard the pain. And only register the pleasure and the peace that came whenever they were together. Perhaps they’d thought they could continue to live in denial and somehow manage to survive.

 

But life didn’t make exceptions just like that. Not for two naïve boys, not for anyone.

 

\--

 

Limbs tangled together with little to no space between them, Sungwoon lay quietly, gazing at Taehyun’s sleepy form. Each time they held each other like this always felt like the first time to him. The electricity from the sheer proximity and the deep longing in Taehyun’s eyes that had his heart clenching - no moment was more peaceful or more perfect than being in his arms. He was _home._ It had him feeling like mush, his heartbeat a crescendo in his ears, senses open to no one but Taehyun himself. Only he could make him _this_ vulnerable. And truth be told, he loved the feeling.

 

“I love you,” Sungwoon whispered against his lips, eyes opening to meet the other’s intense gaze. It was a declaration long overdue, but Taehyun knew it even without Sungwoon’s verbal proclamation.

 

“How could you not,” he smirked and Sungwoon laughed. The former boy pressed his lips against the pulse point of Sungwoon’s neck, breathing in his scent. He sighed and wrapped his arms around him tighter, a ploy to distract themselves from the flight that was merely a month away. Sungwoon tried not to count down the days, but the clock remained ticking at the back of his mind regardless.

 

 _It will be alright,_ he thought, a melancholy smile on his face. _Taehyun will shine where he belongs._

 

\--

 

And then came winter again. This one felt harsher than the last, but Sungwoon didn’t dwell on it. He wouldn’t.

 

For this time he knew if he’d spent even a second thinking about it, he would crumble. Everything he had prepared himself for would be for naught. And he couldn’t give in. Not yet.

 

He would be strong, for Taehyun.

 

They shared a last embrace, strong and reassuring much like Sungwoon’s resolve. Taehyun’s eyes locked on his, his thoughts loud and apparent through them alone, and Sungwoon knew. His gaze told of a man who held a sadness like he’d lost the world - empty, despairing. Yet just a little bit hopeful, just so the man in front of him could feel strong and reassured.

 

_I’ll be back before you know it._

 

And Sungwoon believed in those words.

 

He didn’t stop for even a chaste kiss, and Taehyun turned around, walking towards a new beginning. One without much of Sungwoon in it, the latter mused. But for as long as it would last, he would wait for him. He imagined the day where he’d come back, with that same bright, cheeky smile that had made Sungwoon fall hopelessly in love with him. He’d be dragging the luggage that was bigger than him towards his partner, and they’d share an embrace long overdue. The day when all would be right again, and he wouldn’t have to worry anymore, wouldn’t have to deal with the deep longing in his heart. _The day I am home again._

 

Sungwoon took a deep breath, his eyes closing in a quiet vow. When he opened his eyes, the small figure of his boyfriend was gone beyond the gates, and he had to remind himself to breathe.

 

And so he would wait. As long as it took.

 

Because Noh Taehyun, the reason for his embarrassment, his irritation and his utmost happiness - he was worth it. _He was worth it all._

**Author's Note:**

> could have written more but i don't have the time right now CRIES  
> istg i feel like i've exhausted all my english on the other hatae fic i did ... i'm sorry for this dry ass piece of work lol but thank you for reading luvlies ♡


End file.
